Rubyyyyy

killmeamber @ 2007-02-26T15:31:00

2007-02-26T05:59:26Z

This 'apple and/or cinnamon' Le'rice tastes like grass clippings.
..oh wait..and a little cinnamon-y.
HOLY JESUS THERE IS CONGEALED APPLE (..?) AT THE BOTTOM.
Hm. Watery.

I have workworkwork. At the IGA store. and I'ma tell them. "Hey guys, get another deli bitch."
and they say "OMFG NO WAI WE LOVE YOU RUBY PLZ STAI."
and I say "Sry guys." and depart - leaving a trail of greasy sorrow behind me.

Wish I could do that.

Incidentally, today was a 6. I thought about something. Oh, nah.
Toadface Killer liked my picture. (First time ever she has said this to me.)

Dear Forehead,

Why must you be so stained? Hitties? Please revert back to your creamy alabaster self before tomorrow.
Thankyou guys. (Thankyou John.)

Love Ruby.

Edit: Work was very good. Only the non-crap people were on. :D So good!
Joline, Sarah and Leanne. ^_^ WIN. Day = +2.

killmeamber @ 2007-02-25T22:01:00

2007-02-25T12:06:09Z

Carousel.

Ruby, you're a snail.

Go home.

Go away already.

killmeamber @ 2007-02-25T11:16:00

2007-02-25T01:57:11Z

Promise
Promise
Promise.
Three Times.

Here is the photo post, Jess.

You're so beautiful.

(I thought this was cool because it reminded me of peter pan.)

:D

You have a retro bathroom. (and I like it.)

...and nice mirrors.

...and a nice family. :D

I'll dress up with you anyday.

ANYDAY.

And swim in your pool, when it's freezing and raining and we have to get out after a few minutes.

And make you help me find your lost thong. In the rain. With a torch. Under my car.

Really wish this wasn't so blurry. Because it is cute.

And I'll watch crappy movies with you.

And find you alone at soccer feilds to hug you. :(

I need to start doing some proper photography. Or have the guts to post any. I still like these, though.

[ Picture Heavy. ]

Gavin is backbackback.

killmeamber @ 2007-02-25T00:45:00

2007-02-24T16:01:09Z

This is the perfect wet weather song. For love, and feeling low and cool and calm. and friends.

and new things.

Feels like I've forgotten about the good stuff, wasn't intentional - just everything. I won't, at least for this post and these few minutes left of today. Seven. Minutes. Left.

Today we got food. and film. and cords. and my parents give me too much. and I'd rather they gave me freedom over material things, but that's okay. I am grateful for anything, really. everything.

Anyway, I went over Jess's house, (my parents and I) and we had dinner, and it was very good.
~~I stole a jacket off Jessie.~~ Jessie gave me a pink jacket and it is the coolest thing. Thankyou!
Just. My. Luck. Fucking awful and predictable, but overly hilarious in some parts. Unexpectedly.
Better than watching some pseudo-intellectual-thought-provoking-vague-lame-ass-piece-of-expensive-film, for tonight at least.

Also, keep in mind that there is a mind-blowing-ly (yeah, it really is that good) awesome photo-post coming your way very soon.

Now it's almost an hour post the twenty-fifth of february - that means in 19 and a half hours you should be turning on channel ten, and it also means that cherise turns 16 in 3 days.

Incidentally, my spelling is not extremely atrocious thus having improved. Good thing? Yes.
(Apart from using 'and' too much and commas like they are going out of style.)

Goodnight/Morning. Depending on how technical you are.

killmeamber @ 2007-02-23T17:43:00

2007-02-23T08:01:34Z

(To be free, one must give up a little part of oneself) GO!

Feeling pretty low. BOTCHED!
Today was actually quite bad. Long story short.

I get so close! But I can never actually do it. Everyone knows I need to though, obviously.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. It’s all gone anyway!

So I walked home instead, today, like I said I would.
It took me an extra hour, but I feel different, like I’ve earned it. Taking photos.

Zombies.
(It’s actually John. There is no Zombies involved.)

Ooh La-La-La! Oooh La.

Echo! Echo!

I be up in the gym just workin' on ma fitness.

This is me being angry. and happy at the D-block toilets.

These people are crazy.
(Sarah, I'm sorry.)
(Andrea, I won't scab anymore.)

You have a moustache! MOUSTACHE. Not you, me.

I ADDDORRRREEE YOUUU.

And I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell me things I already knew.
You don’t have to be so crumby and goddamn rude at me! In your briefs.
Yeah, shut up and do something that doesn’t involve a couch.

I was never grateful, that’s why I spend my days alone. I hate this house. And I wish you would come home. And I wish you wouldn’t steal from me. And I wish you weren’t a liar. I wish it was different. And I wish wish wish you were never late or never there or somewhere else, in your head. Or smoke those cigarettes like you do. BECAUSE THEY’RE KILLING YOU. Those drugs, they will kill you. But, you can do what you like. Because I could die tomorrow, and it wouldn’t make a difference. Not to either of us. Or you could die and nothing would have changed. You are already dead.

I wish that I didn’t have to wish for anything. Or feel so goddamn bad. For days on end.

I.I.I.I.I.I.I.iii.df.h..hh.cddsgselfish. Codfish. TUNAFISH.

And everything in the ocean blue,
They just happen to know exactly what to do,
So why don't you?

killmeamber @ 2007-02-21T19:30:00

2007-02-21T09:35:18Z

SCREAM AND SHOUT.
Scream and Shout.
screamandshout.

I just realised that you are dead. and gone. and you're dead.

Oh god.

killmeamber @ 2007-02-19T23:36:00

2007-02-19T13:47:30Z

Sometimes people use capitals and then I can tell. But I can't tell you. (Because it's a secret.)
But, I also can't tell you that, I'm not so sure about it. (But you'll find out later.)

School, is okay. It's not overly difficult or anything, just, slow-paced with boring topics and shitty teachers who've obviously lost their passion to teach, or just taught in the first place for the holidays. Either way. Something like that.

It annoys me the way you be right back all the time at me.

I really would like to run away, so if anybody wants to run with me.
(Please feel free to tell me.)

VAGUE!

(Jess, I have urgent informations coming your way.)

killmeamber @ 2007-02-17T18:03:00

2007-02-17T08:16:01Z

Okay, Christina and I had 50's themed beauty contest. Ahaha. Using the things that you own/makeup/photos. Just because homework sucks and it's fun to dress up.

One bad photo. Just to see. I think Christina won.

: D

I think I bunged it up just a little.

killmeamber @ 2007-02-17T13:32:00

2007-02-17T06:16:19Z

It's official. I have green tea. It was very good.

That couch is really comfortable.

Seven days and you're already vanishing.
Not sure what I'm going to do about THAT. but.

Zach is not there. But thanks for the yak. (!)

killmeamber @ 2007-02-16T18:32:00

2007-02-16T09:00:38Z

Ask, don't tell.

Not sure why you put seventy-three, instead of seventy-one.

I wish it could just be a secret. They're just making it harder.
but, I can make my own decisions.

Discussion-mode is bullshit! Don't scrutinize me! Pick me apart like a deli chicken. Fuck you, man. Fuck you.
Don't re-evaluate me. It's bullshit. I've never ever given you reason to doubt me. Oh what the fuck.

Destroyyyy.

killmeamber @ 2007-02-15T21:24:00

2007-02-15T11:28:09Z

Shopping was very good. I still haven't done all of my homework, though. I'll find a way to wear it. Even if it is a little bit ugly.
Gavin left today. He parked his car and left. I feel a bit sad because he's gone and it's 10 days long. I wish he was taking me. But love doesn't constitute going on holidays. And it doesn't say the opposite about not going on holidays 3 times. COMPLAIN.

Totally wish we had some big arse bottle of cranberry juice, that would really kick.

( I planned it all out! Hahah.)

This is my street, just after it rained. And Andrea - you're the fucking best ever.
I told you waaay too many secrets.

killmeamber @ 2007-02-14T20:18:00

2007-02-14T10:22:38Z

I think it's starts to get a little bit hilarious when you're calling up your best friend's dad to make sure he's taping her television shows for her - while she's at work.

killmeamber @ 2007-02-14T18:16:00

2007-02-14T08:39:28Z

Valentine's Day was a bit of a bum-out. Nah, it was okay.
Dane gave me food. (very good). and Mia gave me a valentine note. (weird.) But, not from her, (?)
and I think she is very cool. And Tiri is not, because he thinks I am epileptic.
Frozen watermelon tastes like tea.
And there is a girl that looks like Siobhan. but isn't.
Anyway, yeah, it was okay.

Are you a couple? Because I am not.

After that we went to the city. (Liam, Andrea and I.)
it was okay, too. Until I realised what a shit I've been. So I went to China, because Andrea had to work.
and I tried walking someplace. and it started raining hell hard. and I got soaked. and everything I had got wet.
I'm so bummed out that we were in the wrong places. Ugh. That sucks. Anyway, I got to the school and I'm soaked and due to the bad design of our uniforms, naturally it went see-through and these smithfeild kids sniggered at me. So I just kept walking. In the rain. because smithfeild kids suck. Eventually I found some way of getting home, but it was still a bringdown.

Not that I really mind all that much. Because I like the rain.

And I have a shitload of homework to do. Thursday. But there is only Friday to go and then I get to see Tarryn and that will be good because I am looking forward to it.

and I think about a lot of things.

killmeamber @ 2007-02-12T20:26:00

2007-02-12T11:26:34Z

you

Mondays are never really that fantastic. I apologise for all the pessimism lately. I don't know. Forget it.

Anyway. It would have been worse if Jess hadn't come into my work. It was also good because there is a new girl at the deli.
She's cooler than all the other deli people and talked to me and it was fun because we laughed at the man who believed me when I told him banana prawns actually taste like bananas.
and he said "Oh. Nah. I don't like Banana." Hahaha. What a derro.

This song is good. I can't remember what it's called. Monday is getting better. Six.

Hahaha and you guys are being really stupid about nothing.
But Friday. Friday will be good. And Saturday night. that will be good, too.

and I have a deli aroma. hahah. how gross.
Hot Damn. Charlie Hunnam.

and I think you should spend more time with me. BECAUSE I'm SELFISH! hahaha! Actually I don't care anymore, to be honest.

HAHAH FUCK YOU.

killmeamber @ 2007-02-11T21:51:00

2007-02-11T12:51:40Z

Today is SUNDAY. SUNDAY is:

The day before school.
The LAST day of the weekend.
Warm.
Okay.
Fun.

I woke up in Andrea's bed and Camellia laughed at my dishevelled appearance, but what she didn't know is that I am not joking.
Fight Club was pretty damn good. I'd like to see it again. I keep thinking I have all these things I need to write down so I won't forget them, but I don't.
Gavin came to see me. But he didn't mention it, not once. and I liked that. He had a motorbike and he took me riding to the outskirts of Cairns and back again. and we had smoothies. and it was fun.
He told me that once he had to walk 90kms once. and did it in 18 hours. Then Jess called me.

It's starting to change. CHEMICAL REACTION.

and I really should go to bed. Checkers is fun.

Okay I really have to go to bed now.

killmeamber @ 2007-02-10T15:51:00

2007-02-10T06:51:59Z

Close enough, but not too far, baby you know where you are. Burning down the house!

Holy crap I just too 74 photos with my mum. it was so funny. She's cool, and rarely lets me do her makeup. But today she did! :D

HAHAHAHAHA. Fuck we're spasmodic and awesome.

LOSER. I love the way that the sun makes photos look photoshopped even when they aren't. maybe it's just my camera. or someshit. haha.
I cut my hair, see? DID YOU? At the back. Now I haven't got a mullet.

JENNIS (!)

Smiling
Spinning 'round and 'round
Holding hands
The whole world a blur
But you are standing
Soaked
Completely drenched
No rubber boots
Running in us
Want to erupt from a shell
Wind in
And outdoor smell of your hair
I hit as fast as I could
With my nose
Hopping into puddles
Completely drenched
Soaked
With no boots on
And I get nosebleeds
But I always get up

SATURDAY is GREAT. I think it's all the sugar from the 10 kinds of awesome juice that I've drank today and waiting for french bread. FOR AGES. and it finally coming and being the best fucking bread ever. EVER. and it's kindof warm today. and I like that. and I can't wait until next friday. :D Later I'm going to ANDREA'S. and we are going fishing. I'm sorry Jack Riddle. :(

(JESSJESSJESS.) IIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiin PARENTHESIS.

Holy Shit I'm motherfucking moody.

Love,
SLIPPERY DICK.

killmeamber @ 2007-02-09T20:27:00

2007-02-09T10:48:48Z

ZACH is back in Cairns. I am very happy about this.

School was pretty average, except hotter and less amusing for some reason or another.

After that, Andrea, Liam and I walked into town. and we had donuts. and then they had to go to work, which sucked. Oh well. Naturally I walked to China where I ate some delicious food and then walked to HMV. Like always. and bought Takk for no reason. because it was ten dollars. Manboy served me and he seemed sad and wasn't jumping about anymore, I would have said something but I didn't and left HMV more frivilously depressed and in dept than when I went in. But it's okay. I walked along the train tracks somewhere, I don't know - but it was hot and my feet hurt and in my head I was deciding whether to just walk home or not. I didn't. I got to the school and sat down and almost slept because my my eyes won't stop hurting. and my mum came and took me home. and we listened to Takk and she told me that she liked it. and I told her not to drive the same way that we always do. and she told me that she knew that anyway. and I didn't have to talk anymore. after that it was okay.

I cut all the hair off where my mullet starts and now ends. and lay in the bath in the dark. and you can hear the tap going from under the water. and it was okay. and I could smell jaffles because we don't have any food. so I ate custard and midori and it tasted really good surprisingly. and my mum sings to jeff buckley. and I have a scratchy shirt. and sometimes my mother hugs me and pats my back because I think it makes her uncomfortable and that is okay. and I can still smell the jaffles.

and Tarryn brought Mellon Collie over. so I could upload it. and that is good. it's getting better. I just wish I could be better.

I'm really looking forward to seeing Jess soon. or something like that. and the way they move and the way they move their hands.

killmeamber @ 2007-02-07T19:41:00

2007-02-07T10:41:18Z

They totally burnt my bread. But that's okay. it's good regardless.
(and all I wanted!)
Tired of being vague and reading all the pages, sometimes twice. I'm still feeling really ambivalent. about everything. But, it will pass, like a season and then we'll be back to normal or whatever it is.
(Was you here next to me.)
Optimistic and rainy. Box-y.
(Now everybody knows that I've been hangin' down so low. Oh.)
And I got off the bus today. and walked the rest of the way. just because I wanted to feel like I had earned it. but I got home and I didn't feel like that.
they give me things and 'check up on me' occasionally, just because I think that they realise it anyway. which is okay. because I'm quiet. and the music is not.
and I'm listening to asleep.

I should type more so that the words flow and are less like the way I think.

and a lot of people are talking to me all of a sudden and I don't know why. there's no perks about me.
I guess that they just want somebody to talk to as well. or somebody to paint the town with them. and someone to tell them they can't. in fact.

Time for custard love.

killmeamber @ 2007-02-05T21:52:00

2007-02-05T12:53:22Z

today was very bad. I felt a bit sad. but not anymore.

Hi Jack.

Mrs Toadface Killer is a bitch. and. My stomach hurts a lot. and. I took neurofen but it was broken and all the insides spilled on my hands and it was gross and the taste made me want to throw up. and.
it's raining. and I love it but it makes you feel so droopy and sad.
The best thing that happened was Jess visiting me. fore the last time. Deli/Chemist combination. very sad. a lot. only thing that I ever look forward to on mondays.
and my cat really smells. and my mother thought it was me. so she made me a jaffle and it was good. and then she told a joke with swearing and we laughed a lot at her gay friend who giggles.

Hahaha.

and I miss my brother.

The end.

The dream that comes alive at night.

2007-02-02T12:41:14Z

I understand the fascination. I've even been there once or twice. PRESSHOREZ.

You and Him. Them. (They're all the people I love left there.) It's right and empty.

Just decided that I actually do suck at photography. Makes for a very depressing Friday night. Even kills for Sunday. No, I'm not fishing. Gods.
Ohh. What am I doing.

Happy Birthday (!)

Don't be mislead - this week was a definate 7. Wine was definite 3. I think I need to get some sleep.

killmeamber @ 2007-02-01T16:17:00

2007-02-01T07:05:37Z

Having thursdays off is awesome. :D

Sleeping in was lovely and I woke up and the house was empty. Except then I smashed a glass. : / .. and had to vacuum everywhere.
Anyway! I tried out blacktrack today, and it is super fantastique. I think I am in love with it.
Chemistry homework is suck.
Aaaaand I uploaded the software for my Eos and mucked around with that. Instead of the chemistry homework. Ha.

HERE ARE THE PHOTOS. Excited?

I still can't figure out how to resize them without using paint. Lame. :(

Oh. Retarded expression. >_<

It looked hell cool in real life. I think I monged it up a fair bit, though. Bummed about that.

^_^

Oh gods. It's raining. ITCHING TO GO OUTSIDE - but can't, as have to stay dry. :(

My parents published a book. Yesterday it was talked about on this American show and they showed me the streamed broadcast. Very cool. Everything is a bit too good.
I hope none of it falls spectacularly to peices. Especially Sunday. Uhn. Pressure.

Wish you guys weren't so negative.

killmeamber @ 2007-01-30T23:39:00

2007-01-30T13:39:26Z

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICOLE.
(Thankyou for the letter, Jess.)

School is good so far.

I really do not want to have to worry about anything, at all. Right now.
All I want to do is change my cal-en-dea-rah to February.

Yes Please.

killmeamber @ 2007-01-26T21:28:00

2007-01-26T11:40:43Z

Dear Dear.

Okay. Keeping Calm.

In the spirit of Australia day, I would just like to say that I love Australia. I also love my mother. even if she's an immigrant. I don't mind.
We ran the Red Arrow in the pouring rain. ran. right to the top. mud in our shoes. I'm pretty sure I've never had that much fun exercising ever. ever.
Apart from the thunder, which was a bit scary. but it's all good stuff.

And I saw Gavin. I also love him. And he is an Australian. so that's okay.
He told me that he had seen the psychedelic furs more than once and I thought that was hell cool. picked them up in a taxi once, he said too.

Today has been very good. I am happy. or something like that.

Love,
Pins and Needles Girl.

P.s.

killmeamber @ 2007-01-26T02:27:00

2007-01-25T16:28:00Z

Change the Season.

killmeamber @ 2007-01-24T18:15:00

2007-01-24T08:16:43Z

Oh gods. Darcy is here. Computer Camp Love at my house.

I have this really terrible feeling like something bad has happened/something bad is going to happen. and it's really horrible.
Think that I should go watch Queer As Folk now. and eat pasta. I don't really want to think about it.